Good Bye Cornbread
I’m thankful for hot yoga. I tried it last night with a girlfriend. I didn’t wear the right top so I took it off and wore my sports bra. At once when my shirt went over my head I realized that I was wearing two sports bras because (#girltalk) the one is older and doesn’t do it’s job as well so it takes two. Don’t judge. Well, wait…it gets better.
The instructor soon urged us into tree pose at which point I realize I hadn’t shaved my armpits since the beginning of October. And there I was in all my glory. I smiled, inside and out.
What does this have to do with Thanksgiving, you’re wondering…
I am thankful to be here today as fully me as I ever was. No apologies, with the ability to laugh at myself and just go with it. It helped that the room was dim and 90 degrees so my hope was nobody had a care in the world about me.
I had a nice post drafted up this morning which somehow got deleted. I was bummed and then thought, heck this isn’t ruining my day. I figured it wasn’t meant to go out. So on with it…cooking and cleaning and prepping for tomorrow. We are hosting Thanksgiving at our house. I am excited. I haven’t really had this much energy around Thanksgiving in years.
My dog ate the cornbread I made last night at 11 pm. I wanted it to sit out for a few days so it would get nice and hard. Making the stuffing from scratch with both cornbread and french bread sounded like a great plan. So when my husband and I returned from the gym to find four of the five rows of cornbread were missing from the pan, my heart dropped. My blood pressure rose.
I knew it was Hunter, our eight year old lab-mix rescue dog. The kids had been warned - hands off! The sticky notes around the kitchen and throughout the fridge with “DO NOT EAT” tell the story of the wrath that could unfold should they break the code. I went straight into recluse mode because I was fuming, while my sweet husband went straight into fix it mode. Once he realized there was no fix (because of timing) he generously made dinner while I prepared another casserole for Thanksgiving day.
I knew we’d laugh about it but I wasn’t ready…yet. About 3/4 through dinner he made a little joke about it and then one of the kids chimed in…soon we were laughing and telling our parts of the story and how it unfolded. At which point I realized another thing I am thankful for…perspective. In the past, this could have really side swiped me. I would have been fuming all night, freaked out about what I was going to do about the stuffing and sadly, I probably would have been grumpy with everyone around me.
I am thankful for loss because it has taught me that letting go of the things that don’t really matter is a beautiful gift we can give ourselves and everyone around us.
Definitely, this will go down as the year Hunter ate all the cornbread. And for me, it’s an intimate look into the journey of self and opening up to more after loss.
Thankful for our time together. If you’re hurting, take the time and space you require. If you’re well, send out love and compassion to someone who needs it.
Giving thanks for all that was and is and is to come.
*Photo credit: Samuel Zeller